Gym Etiquette & Body Haters

Hi Peaches! πŸ™‚

So today I wanted to talk about something that I have been wondering about for sometime… Gym Etiquette.

Over the past few weeks a couple things have happened to make me think about this, but what is prompting me to write this post is something that happened just thirty minutes ago.

This morning I went to the gym as usual, and I did legs, cardio and abs today. I was just finishing up my cardio and cooling down on the stationary bike when I fella (lets call him X) came over to me and started chit chatting. We have talked a couple times before just to be polite, but today he said something to me that really hit a nerve. Our conversation went like this..

X : So you have got the whole workout part down, now you need to step up your game everywhere else.

Michal : What do you mean?

X : (does pushing arm motion) I mean you have to step away from the table.

Michal : Wait… what table?

X : (turning to the guy next to me) I think that guy knows what I mean.

At this point I was really confused I had no clue what in the world he was talking about.

X : I mean you have to step away from the table… the food.

Michal : Oh. Well I generally eat pretty healthy.

X : Yes, but you need to step it up a notch, cut down on the food.

Okay, am I overreacting to this? Be honest.

First of all since when is it okay for some stranger to comment on my physical appearance? He is not a personal trainer, or a fitness competitor he is just your average joe. And even if he was a personal trainer would that make it okay? I did not ask for his comments or advice, I know what I have to work on and am doing so my own way.

To be openly honest I do not have the best self-esteem. In my early teen years since I was so overweight sometimes I feel like I am always going to be “that girl.” The one who is overweight, unhappy and unconfidant. Working on my self-esteem is an on going thing, and self acceptance is a huge part of that. I do realize that my bod isn’t perfect right now, but in my post “Does Size Really Matter?” I said it best…

I amΒ healthier than IΒ have ever been. If I gain a couple of pounds, I know I can lose them the healthy way without extreme dieting or workouts. It’s not the number or size that matters, its how we feel about ourselves!

Its not the number or size that matters, its how we feel about ourselves!

This mans comment shattered me, but why am I letting it?

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe he was trying to be friendly and help me out? Maybe he was just thinking I would appreciate the honesty. Well regardless of his reasoning and justification for making that comment those four words were enough to ruin my whole morning.

But I know now that I am more than just a size or a tag. I am healthier than I have ever been. I am strong and self sufficient and the only person whos opinion matters is my own. Not some random gym dude’s. I want to run, dance, lift, eat and enjoy life. Not worry about what other people think. End of story!

So where do I go from here?

Well for starters I made myself a healthy post gym snack and read one of my favorite magazines.

Pink lady apple and a handful of almonds.

Healthy fats + Complex carbs = one happy tummy.

Later I’m going to go out with a friend, and then tonight hit up a zumba class. Zumba ALWAYS makes me feel better. πŸ™‚ What are some things that you do to make you feel better when your down?

Michal β™₯

Question of the day – How do you deal with unwanted body comments?

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31 comments

  1. The best thing to do is ignore his foolish comments. He’s got no clue what he’s talking about, and you’re right – you are NOT a size, a number, you are a beautiful human being, inside and out. Just leave that experience in the past πŸ™‚ Best thing you can do.

    I love how you just moved on from it as well – grabbing a nice snack + mag is the way to go. And enjoy Zumba tonight! Rock that body girlfran! You’re gorgeous.

  2. That’s absolutely ridiculous. It made my blood boil. I can’t know how he meant it, but I have struggled with my self esteem as well and I know exactly how a comment like that feels. It’s like someone knocks the wind out of me and I could just cry.
    It’s so great you were able to move past it with something positive instead. You rock!

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  4. haha my mouth dropped.
    Forgetting about size doesnt matter for a minute- no matter your size he has absolutely no right to say what he did. Not just that- but he doesn’t know what you eat or whatever. And let me tell you girl, you eat 10x more than ‘pretty healthy’ and you are absolutely gorgeous πŸ˜‰
    Gaining self confidence about your body is such a long and frustrating road. But somewhere along that road you come to realize you have to literally ignore a lot of the nasty comments thrown your way because if you listened to just half, and really absorbed it, it will break you.
    You’ve over come so much as far as your weight and diet goes, you of all people should be so proud of yourself πŸ™‚ You are human and by god your weight is going to fluctuate horribly, that’s life. But it’s the fact that your making an effort to keep on track and stay healthy is what counts πŸ™‚
    xxx

  5. I think you are totally right to think that his comment was out of line. You didn’t ask for his comment, nor did you deserve it. You are one healthy and happy chicka, and that’s all that matters! If you love yourself, others will love you, too :). Also, his “advice” wasn’t exactly correct either. Eating less food doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Actually, it can be detrimental. So basically, don’t let it get you down. Live what you wrote and enjoy who you are. Yoga always makes me feel better when I’m feeling down. There’s something so wonderful about knowing that physically I am strong and thankful to have a body that lives vibrantly, and mentally, that I am beautiful and free.

    Have a lovely day!
    xox

  6. UMM ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! can i go punch this guy in the face?!?! you are amazing. i second everything meg said!

  7. That is absolutely ridiculous. You are a beautiful and healthy young woman. I don’t know of any woman who doesn’t have her own insecurities about her body; but also coming from someone who was overweight when I was younger, I know that comments from years passed still bother me greatly. Now I’m at a place where I *know* that I’m healthy and look good, and that I’m doing what I need to do to look how I want. While the road to developing that mindset can be long, you *will* get there. And you will feel vindicated knowing that Mr. Muscles in 30 years will have turned that into fat from not wanting to work out, while because of your amazing diet, you look *fab*!

  8. You didn’t ask for their opinion. I think they stepped over the line. Wow.

  9. Um, that guy is WAY out of line. First of all, I’ve seen pictures of you and you are GORGEOUS and thin- there is no way you need to lose a single pound! Second, if ANYONE were to give you that kind of advice, it would be a doctor. Please, please, please don’t listen to this guy! Keep your chin up love!! xoxo

  10. Ohhhh my god, he has GOT to be kidding. I don’t know who in their right mind would say that to anybody, and you are absolutely gorgeous and have no reason to worry about your weight or appearance. You are absolutely gorgeous, and I feel awful that someone would say something so out of line to you. I hope you don’t let it get to you, but I know it’s easier said than done. Sometimes it’s easy to be too affected by a stranger’s remarks – but what really matters is if we’re healthy, happy, and strong. We need to make ourselves happy before we can make anybody else πŸ™‚

    1. OMG I would have seriously gotten off my bike, picked it up, and thrown it at his head. Holy camole what a jackass! Ugh! It made me so angry just reading about it! How ridiculous! πŸ™‚

  11. Oh my goodness I canNOT believe he said that! I’ve seen how gorgeous you are and not to discount anything you’ve said but you have quite possibly the most adorable body out there. I mean seriously, what does he think he is criticizing such a sexy woman? Unbelievable.

    You are beautiful inside but also, coincidentally you are also really super beautiful on the outside. Don’t let a douche like that get you down. I’m so sorry!

  12. What an utter knob. I hope he drops a dumbbell on his teeny tiny you-know-what. Don’t listen to a word he says!!! You are GORGEOUS and no loser with an ego problem should make you feel anything less than amazing.

  13. Hey! A similar thing happened to me, TODAY, too. (interesting, isn’t it?)

    This lady (who’s a volunteer at my workplace), we were carpooling together, and she asked me if veganism is hard. And I said, “not really”. Then, suddenly she started ranbling (in English – even though all of our conversations are in Japanese. So I thought it was weird – lack of her Japanese skills, perhaps?) about how I should take multi-vitamins to get all the vitamins that I’m not getting from the products I don’t eat(probably protein, calcium, etc.) But in my mind, I was like, “Hello? I did/do waaaaaaaaaaaaay more friggen research about all these nutrition stuff when I was going vegan. And you didn’t even let me say how healthy I eat (lots of veggies, tofu, brown rice, etc. = therefore I get all the things I need). You don’t even know all the research I did AND you’re being told that you need all these proteins and stuff from meat (not true!) , and you haven’t even researched it before!!!! Why are YOU telling ME HOW to EAT?!?!?!” So I just simply nodded and ignored it πŸ™‚ I know my body and health/nutrition way more than she does, so why listen and feel bad about myself? So you too, don’t listen to that average joe-dude and just move on! (fyi, I’m more than sure that you’re waaaaay healthier than that guy. I’m sure he eats meat, and hey, you’re vegan. Who’s healthier? YOU)

    Moving on now. Your plate (with apples and almonds) is so cute!!!!!! I LOVE it!!!! Very green and polka-doty! πŸ™‚

    What do I do when I feel down…hmm….listen to music and draw, or read blogs πŸ˜€

  14. That is SO NOT COOL what that guy said to you! This is why we get anorexic girls and girls with ED in our society today! Perfectly healthy size 6 girls would get these comments and they’d easily fall into an extreme diet trap. Ugh!

    Ignore those guys. They obviously don’t know what healthy is!

  15. OMG. That man is horrendous. I hope you tell him how wrong those comments were so he won’t talk to anyone else that way. Man, I am furious just hearing about it. Why the heck would he think that is an acceptable thing to say to anyone? Grr!

  16. first off, I love your blog… been following for awhile (just wanted to let you know πŸ™‚ )

    I could go on and on about how that guy deserves to get the crap kicked out of him, but I’ll spare you the rant, ha. Instead, I’ve found the best way to avoid people at the gym (seriously, there are too many losers floating around those things) is to keep my ipod on at all times… never giving anyone an opportunity to disturb me. Maybe you could try that? Other than that, just keep reminding yourself that health is not defined by muscles – my best guy friend lifts competitively (he’s huge) and eats a keto diet – trust me, I may not have his abs, but I can guarantee you I don’t have his cholesterol levels πŸ™‚ that always makes me happy.

  17. Um, that guy is a jerk. You’re not overreacting at all! Maybe if he spent less time “away from the table” he would know how to interact with people. Please ignore his comments!

  18. Wow, that guy was totally out of line saying that to you. Whether or not he believes that is irrelevant. You didn’t ASK him for his opinion, nor were you even the one who initiated contact.

    I agree with you and I’m glad that you could push yourself past his rude comments. Especially because they have no merit!

    Also, it’s nice to “meet” you via this blog.

  19. What a jerk! 1. you look gorgeous, 2. nobody has a right to say that, not even a personal trainer. I remember one time at the gym I did 5 minutes of cardio as a warm up and someone said “you’re not going to lose any weight that way”… I told him I was trying to gain weight and he said “do you really think you need to?” so yeah, I think people just do it to see if they can upset you. It sucks, but when I’m down about my body image I just watch funny old episodes of tht 70’s show and friends where everyone isn’t stick thin or drop dead gorgeous but they still have fun. That usually helps!

  20. Woah SO not cool of him to say that.
    Comments like that are hurtful and can be very dangerous. So many people are already insecure about their bodies (even if they have no reason to be) and comments like that can be a person’s worst nightmare.

    Stay strong and know this guy:
    a) is insecure about his own body
    b) thinks he’s funny and is sorely mistaken

    Love yourself and love your body and forget about this guy. Who knows what’s going on in his life to make him say something like that.

    I think you handled everything really well! Sometimes I struggle with allowing what other people say to determine how i feel about myself, so i know that a comment like his would really hurt. I hope if i ever encounter a similar situation i’ll be able to handle it like you did.

  21. i am absolutely and completely shocked that someone can come up and voice their nonsense opinion about how you look and how they think you should look. i was completely stunned reading this and i am so terribly sorry that that asshole (lets call him that) said what he said. FUK HIM! seriously. im kind of pissed off now lol.

  22. I’m so sorry you had to go through this! I agree with everything everyone has said so far. Keep in mind that a comment like this might have a deeper psychological root, it seems to me that this guy could be struggling with insecurities of his own. Does that make it okay for him to bring others down? Absolutely not. However, whenever someone makes a rude comment, or the cashier at the grocery store is miserable, or the owner of a restaurant’s dog bites your friend (my luck today), I try to remember that everyone else is dealing with issues of their own too. Its certainly difficult to feel compassion for someone who has been a complete ass to you, but I swear it makes me feel loads better if I try to see things through multiple lenses. Besides that, when I’m down I just try to stay busy! Working out, cleaning, getting my nails done, retail therapy, singing in the shower, experimenting in the kitchen, playing dress-up.. πŸ˜€ This list was my savior after a devastating time in my life: http://galadarling.com/article/100-things-to-do-when-youre-upset-the-sad-trombone-list

    <33 BTW You're Beautiful!

  23. […] did not expect such an overwhelming response to my post about Body Haters the other day. From all of your comments I gathered that I was definitely not over reacting to this […]

  24. […] more:Β  Gym Etiquette & Body Haters Β« Earth Muffin By admin | category: body, body on me | tags: are-awkward, are-still, couple-things, […]

  25. […] a positive way and many people are being happy with the life that they created! (Like Tina,Β Katie, Michal, and […]

  26. Wow… that guy’s a jerk! Just because he has his foot in the door with you, knows you’ll talk to him, he thinks he can start mentally molding you into his idea of “the perfect woman”??? He has problems!

    You on the other hand, do not– you’re wonderful! It was mean of him to hit you where you feel most vulnerable. I am sorry that he caused you pain. It makes me mad that some stranger would cause you pain… Grrrr…

    Seriously, I love you tons, Michal. You’re awesome– don’t ever forget that! Keep up all the wonderful vegan, Zumba healthiness! πŸ™‚

    Val

  27. I just got done reading everybody else’s comments and WOW! I agree with them all! Everybody loves you Michal! I am so glad to see the swift compassion we women have for one another! What a blessing! Love you, girl! πŸ™‚

  28. Great idea, but will this work over the long run?

  29. This is really unbelivable. I cannot believe in this article.

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